I have been body shamed since I was young, even when people were not using that term yet. Maybe people didn’t know better. But my youth was destroyed by words - the words that people said to me without even knowing themselves.
I spent my teenage years, and beyond, embarrassed by my own appearance. I am a tall girl with a large bone structure and a big round face. Plus, I have curly hair and brown skin. I was, and still am, definitely not a 'girly' girl as my relatives, my neighbors and older people around me expect me to be. I was born that way in a society that thinks girls should be small and slender, and that light skin is beautiful.
Ever since I was young, whenever they see me the same exact words come out:"You have become a fatty!" Like….Every. Single. Time.
The light festival in Myanmar used to be the scariest time because in Myanmar tradition, younger people have to go to elders' houses and pay respect. I knew that every single one would call me fat once I entered their houses. Every year passed with these comments.
I knew that I was a big person, and being fat and big is different. But as an introvert, I couldn't speak up. I absorbed those negative words and was embarrassed.
When I was 15, I had a huge crush on a boy in my class and I couldn't hide it. One time, his friends tried to tease him when I passed by and I accidently heard him say, "No, not with this ugly one."
I avoided mirrors after that. I even hated the reflection of myself. I tried to hide myself by sitting in the chair in the corner of the classroom. I also avoided reunions after I graduated.
Losing weight and using skin whitening products became a lifestyle for me until my 20s. I lived in fear of being called 'ugly' or 'fat.’ I forced myself to fit into a society that didn't accept me for who I am. I used to live with so many worries of what people would think of me if I stopped trying.
Living was hard until I could finally embrace my true self and decide to leave the past in the past. I learned to love myself. I learned to not let any more toxic people in my life. I learned to know that abilities are more important than beauty.
People, especially my relatives and my old neighbors, still greet me with: "Hey…look how fat you are!" But I am not the same girl anymore. I don't absorb those words anymore. I reply to them with a smile, saying: "Of course," then I walk away. I don't give them the satisfaction they want: to see me insulted.
I know I am loved, I am happy, and I am worthy. I have come this far. Slowly.
I am never going back to that weak person, living with other people’s comments.
I am shining.
There are beauty standards in our society based on physical appearance, body shape, and hairstyles. Many people tend to change their styles in order to try to fit with these standards. If a person cannot fit in or does not have what society believes we should have, they may feel unhappy, unsatisfied, or insecure. It's perfectly fine if you want to change your appearance or style based on your own choices. However, it is not good to change yourself due to peer pressure or societal expectations. Keeping up with ever-changing beauty standards is impossible. Everyone is unique and attractive in their own way. Mocking or harassing someone because of their physical appearance or body is bullying. If you see someone and say to them: "You have become fat, you have become slimmer, you are extremely tall, your skin is too dark, etc.," your words will have an effect on that person. As you can see in this story, the victim could become insecure, despise themselves, and avoid people as a result of these bad comments. Before speaking, we should always consider how our words could affect others. We must learn to accept and love ourselves. Self-acceptance is essential if you want to be happy. People will continue to criticize you so it is best to ignore them and accept and love yourself. Our self-esteem will grow, and we will be shining in our own beauty.